I was a three sport athlete in college, swimming, gymnastics and track and field (discuss, javelin, hurdles and relays). I was in tip top shape. When I left college I was 5'9" and 135 pounds of solid muscle. I will try to come up with some pictures to share at a later date. The work out that I had with Courtney Raney  yesterday was the hardest one I can ever remember. I was whimpering and my body was shaking. Thanks coach!! If you ever need a person trainer she is great!  She pushes you but not to do more than you can do. Plus she is always concerned, caring and encouraging! It certainly was a blessing when she popped into my life!
I have been at this lifestyle change for a little over 9 months and certainly see changes, and so do others. I do  feel much better.  I have lost over 30 pounds but have been a little disappointed at not losing more. I know that I have been losing inches .  I gave away 8 pairs of shorts, went to the shorts that were too small for me and had to have them taken in, some of them 6 inches or more. Now I hope that there will be a summer so I can wear them. lol
When I was at the Mayo Clinic for a routine check up a few years ago I was aghast when I was told that I was over 50% fat!! I don't remember exactly if it was 52%, 56% but it was over 50%. Really? Wow!! Several months ago  I went to Max Muscle to have them check the % of fat that I had in/on my body. I was really hoping to be below 50%. I was pleased to find that I was at 32%. Yesterday I went again and was euphoric to discover that I was 26.8% which is excellent for my age!!! Yeah!! That means I have lost around 30% of the fat that I had to drag around with me all the time. I guess what I am doing is releasing the fat and replacing it with muscle.
Come work out with me sometime.

Well, believe it or not, I actually hate food. I don't want to prepare it, eat it or even sit at the table and eat. For me food has always been associated with hate and fear. I always ate "food" that was quick and that I could eat mindlessly. I get frustrated because I know what I should do and more importantly how I should feel about food but...... I can't make myself feel that way! It is like I have tools set out in front of me but I just can't force myself to pick them up and use them.
I have been trained in nutrition and health and could tell you how you should take care of yourself but........ when it comes to me, I find myself incapable of practicing what I preach. I worked with Lisa Freitag, a nutritional coach, and was surprised that this path was fraught with emotional land mines. I cried for at least 10 of our first sessions. Oh I get it nutrition and health may have an emotional aspect. Duh. I still believe that I should still be able to do what was right and damn the torpedoes. It still doesn't work that way for me.
Now since I last left you I have been able to get out of the cave and sit by the road. Tonight I had Mary Dorr do some EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) with me and I got on the road and even am walking down it. I will continue to release the anger and sadness that I felt about not doing the right thing about my nutrition but as I said before I believe that I am on the right track. My question is why is this so hard?

Blog June 6, 2013

Food

This part of the journey has been very difficult to write about. I suppose because it is, and has been, such a long story with many intertwining, frayed, convoluted, knotted, unseen and un-foreseen emotional and physical threads. I was not even sure that I wanted to delve further into the depths of this relationship yet I knew that I needed to. My relationship with food looks like several, different colored balls of yarn that have been played with by many joyful cats. One could not reproduce the condition or disarray in that jumble of yarn but would be pretty sure that it could never be rolled up into nice, neat, separate balls of yarn again.

I was pondering my food history when I met with Ann Peyton. I had been feeling like I was standing at the entrance of the cave, looking out into the sunshine and a road that meandered through the forest. I could feel the cold and the dark behind me. It was not a place I wanted to be but I seemed unable to step back out onto the road and into the light. Interestingly enough, I was able to leave the cave and float above the forest in the clouds, almost at will. When I no longer concentrated on floating, flying and being free and at peace I seem to be drawn back into the cave. I had been feeling a general condition of malaise that seem to have no origin.

In our session I was relaying some of my history and food story. Ann and said something that was profound. Something along the lines that we do not have to be our past, our history, that we can and should create a new story, a new chapter in our life. We should envision and then produce the story that we desire. Ahhhh, I see now that I was to make some new yarn, knit, then wear a new cloak of nutritional health. Not just where it but incorporate it into my body mind spirit.